I wasn’t raised in a Christian home. I come from the household of a hardworking, intensively-loving mom who strives to become a “good person,” but not to seek a relationship with Jesus. We attended church a grand total of four times before I went to college, generally because our friends were going to a service on the holidays and would invite us. We prayed on the special occasions when we’d drive 10 plus hours to see family in Michigan – to thank the God we rarely spoke to for getting us there safely.

Why do we constantly have the desire – the need – to feel God? Why does this happen? And what does that even mean?

Our lack of commitment with this God whom we occasionally acknowledged provided me with zero understanding about Him, about His Word, about real Reality, about Jesus, about anything God-related really. All I knew was that there was a God somewhere, He had a Son named Jesus who was important for some reason, I could ask Him for things when I wanted them, and that He had the power to give them to me. I didn’t know about the Holy Trinity. I didn’t know that there was a Holy Spirit. I didn’t know what salvation was, beyond, of course, the fact that people who are saved get a ticket to heaven. I didn’t know what happened to Jesus on the cross, or that He volunteered and was not a victim. I didn’t know any historical event or piece of Scripture from the Old Testament, besides rumors about Adam and Eve.

By His loving persistence, He drew me beyond this rudimentary knowledge of the Gospel and into His salvation. He took the blind from my eyes and gave me understanding of what Jesus did on the Cross. But I was still a child. And what was it that ruled my heart?

Experience and feeling.

As I walked alongside Jesus, emotions – not truth – controlled my faith. All I knew was that this God that I was having commitment issues with kept saving my butt, and that after talking to Him a little, I always felt much better. But after committing to God and walking with Him a little longer, I started to realize this pattern in myself: basing my faith on emotions – whether I could “feel” God or not.

Not good.

In this series, I want to explore with you why this happens.Why do we constantly have the desire – the need – to feel God? Why does this happen? And what does that even mean?

Not only have I seen this in myself, but also in the church and in my believer friends. And it’s dangerous, because our faith is not based on feeling and emotion. It’s based upon Truth, and that’s something we can’t see. And what will we do if we can’t always feel His nearness?

“So faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the message about Christ.”

Romans 10:17

Let’s explore this together, so that we can grow as children, and better take up our shield of faith.